I was once asked a simple question by someone who had lost a close family member: How does one get over a person who’s everywhere and anywhere in their life? I didn’t have an answer at the ready so I paused – mostly because she looked quietly unhappy and very much in pain – but also because I wasn’t sure how to phrase it without coming across as cliched, callous or both.
Rather than formulate a perfect, and probably overly exact answer, I settled for a simple principle: There are always equal losses and gains in any given situation. Did we not give up our simple and happy childhood naiveness for higher reasoning, abstraction and some measure of unhappiness? Doesn’t a professor for all his academic expertise, often become unable to think from the perspective of a layman? A single scenario does not come in obvious shades of colours.
Someone who takes the rein of leadership is paid well and respected, but may in the process, over-commit to work, become less empathetic and disconnected from family, friends and peers. Likewise, meeting failures in life may present perspectives that were otherwise absent; having only a limited number of days to live takes away from the humdrum and tedium of life’s repetitions.
It’s no different with the death of someone close to us. Death is meaningful because it allows new life to take root. Its frequent visits force us to rethink our life and to periodically revise our goals. That’s not to say it’s a pleasant experience but to be beholden to despondence hardly seems like a fair contest. If you look hard enough, there’s much silver lining to be had even in the bleakest of moments.
Much of it comes down to how our minds interpret a situation, and for that we have the power to make alterations and arrive at new realisations. In moments of great turmoil and irrationality, it becomes that much harder but the choice is always ours, and that’s a point worth remembering.
So have you thought (HYTA) about reexamining your perspectives in life?